Travel Challenges and Personal Challenges

So, part of the reason my post is late is due to the patience-level-testing travel challenges I faced getting back to Kentucky today. I usually fly from Boston to Charlotte, NC and then change planes to head to Lexington, but my flight in Charlotte was cancelled. UGGGH! I was severely pissed off, but had to contain my anger, as the lady at the ticket counter had nothing to do with my flight change so blowing up at her would have been misdirected...

I had the choice between spending the night in Charlotte and heading to the airport for a flight at the ungodly hour of 6 am, or re-route to Louisville, KY. Louisville is an hour and a half one way from Lexington, so again, I was NOT HAPPY. My mother ended up being just as punished as I was by U.S. Airways' inability to run smooth like a successful company should (just venting, there is probably a good reason for the cancelation); she is the lucky person that has to drive a total of three hours in order to get me back home in time for work in the morning, after working all day. She is one of the best examples of a leader I can think of, she was on the way without any complaint about how inconvenient it was for her, and gave me good advice on how to handle this better the next time.

Anyway, everything happens for a reason I come to find everyday. I met a guy on the plane who just finished a year tour from Afghanistan. He has two months with his family and girlfriend, and then he goes off for another year long tour. We talked the entire flight about life in the Middle East, being shot at, dealing with the trauma of collateral damage in the battlefield, politics, and absolutely anything guys would conjure up during a conversation (not all are appropriate here!) What I took from the experience was the extreme amount of tolerance and leadership expressed by our soldiers on the ground. It is easy for people to forget how ordinary citizens put themselves in harm's way, almost without question, for their country. It made me sit back and realize how good I have it. I can go to graduate school, bash the powers that be, disagree with our international dealings and not have to enlist to pay for my education. I know too many soldiers who enlisted simply to pay their mounting bills. This gentleman I met on the plane is funding his entire family, with his life on the line.

I had a massive lump in my throat to swallow as I heard him talk about trying his best to avoid civilians during battle, lose friends in battle, miss his home, and so on.

He went on talk about how his battalion played with local kids, provided support any way they could (or any way they were allowed) and gave supplies, food and candy to locals.

Okay, I am off of my soapbox. Sorry, I just had a seriously heart-tugging moment as I listened to how badly he missed home-cooked meals, spending time with family, and not being shot at. This soldier was being a leader, unknowingly, in changing the perception I had accepted about the military in general. We should all remember their great sacrifice, regardless of moral opposition to the wars themselves. Just imagine if we did not have the "privilege of choice" to pursue a Master's degree instead of helping pay the bills at home by risking our lives abroad.

Gotta love random acts of kindness!

Hey All,

Couldn't help but include this story I got in an email. Just more reasons why I think Coach Calipari and the current Wildcats men's college basketball team are stand-up guys. It is the simple things that make good people sometimes. The story is a bit long, but it is pretty cool if you ask me. Here is the main part of the email (I apologize for the formatting, I literally copied and pasted the email to the post):

Yesterday (Mon.) was my youngest daughter Rebekah’s 16th birthday, and in keeping with family
tradition she got to pick the restaurant for her birthday dinner. She decided on P.F. Chang’s
at Fayette Mall, even though she had never dined there prior to last night.
We arrived at about 6:50pm and were told there would be a 20-25 minute wait. After we had been
sitting in the foyer for about 10 minutes I was looking out the front door and I told my wife “
that guy walking this way kind of looks like Patrick Patterson.” Sure enough, in through the door walk Patterson, Harrelson and Liggins. Since I was literally standing by the door I shook each one’s hand and congratulated them on this past weekend’s performance. We assumed that this was just an instance of a few of the guys going out for dinner, but within the next 8-10 minutes, in groups of 2-4 players/coaches, the entire team showed up, Calipari included. The funniest group was Cousins and Orton. They showed up together (they are some big boys!), and DeMarcus -- with a huge grin on his face -- proceeded to do two
“laps” around the revolving door, trapping Orton inside. It made me fully realize that they are
still kids at heart, even though they’re full grown men from all outward appearances.
Again, I made it a point to shake hands and congratulate every single one that came through the
door (even the Assistants), because how many opportunities does a CAT fan get to do this,
right? They apparently had reservations, because as each mini-group entered the restaurant they
proceeded directly into the dining area, where they were met with applause from the patrons (which I thought was cool too). After they had all passed by we were talking about how neat this

was, and how Rebekah had made a wonderful choice of restaurants! We thought that was pretty
much the end of the excitement. Our 20-minute wait turned into 50 minutes, but we were finally seated. Lo and behold they put our party of 9 at a table right next to the team, which we again thought was neat. Even though several patrons walked up and took pictures, I insisted that we leave them alone to enjoy their
dinner…the way it should be IMHO. As we noticed they were finishing up, my wife half-jokingly suggested that my oldest daughter go over and tell them why we were there, and would they mind wishing her sister a happy birthday. Well, she did, and what happened next is the meat of the story.
Patterson, Harrelson, Hood and Stevenson walked over behind her (at the head of the table), and
Patrick leaned over her shoulder, gave her a hug and asked her name and how old she was. After
she told him he straightened up, raised his arms and said to the entire dining room “Hey, it’s
‘Bekah’s 16th birthday, so why don’t we all sing to her?”. Josh kicked it off, and those 4
players, our table, and the rest of the patrons in the dining room sang Happy Birthday to her!
You can imagine the impact this had on her. She had an ear-to-ear grin that might have been the
widest I’ve ever seen on a person! They also gave her a cake that someone had brought for them.
It was a store-bought cake that read “Congrats Cats, 2010 SEC Champs”. Josh said “we’ll never
eat this, why don’t you take it”. Then there were a few more “thank you’s” and handshakes, and
they left the restaurant. As you can imagine, all eyes were on our table, and we again thought
that was just the coolest thing that could happen, and that it was definitely a memorable
birthday. About 5 minutes later we were still talking about what had just transpired, when back through
the front door walks Harrelson, with his hand behind his back. He walked up to Rebekah and said
“do you think this would be a good birthday present” and brought his hand from behind his back
to present her with a basketball autographed by the entire team, and personalized with the
words “Happy Birthday Bekah, Big 16”!! We were absolutely stunned!! I didn’t know my jaw could drop that far, and that grin on Rebekah’s face that I was sure couldn’t get any bigger, well it doubled in size! I think it kind of blew away everybody in the restaurant, and it certainly did us!
That’s my story; thanks for the indulgence. But the point I want you to leave with is this:
How good are these young men to do this? Heck, we were absolutely tickled that they took the
time to wish her a happy birthday and sing to her, but when Josh brought that ball in and
handed it to her it transformed a great birthday dinner into an occasion she’ll remember for
the rest of her life!

Tired of sports-related examples yet?

This past weekend our rugby squad had a match in Cincinnati. Our coach, who is also one of our players, has to make the decision every Saturday to either stay on the sidelines and coach (something very difficult for him) or cut into someone else's playing time. Often, he is the best option, and it is at times more important to put the best players on the pitch rather than prevent someone from getting their feelings hurt by starting a less qualified individual. This saturday however, he took himself out of the starting lineup. Considering his personality, I think it took great leadership for him to step down and let someone who typically gets the short end of the stick see some playing time. We ended up winning by a landslide, and after the game, our coach went to the other team and provided tips and pointers for about 30 minutes on how to get better. In the male ego, this may be considered slightly insulting, but our coach's commanding demeanor and engaging attitude laid any pride to rest.

My other example was after the Kentucky Wildcats thoroughly defeated Wake Forest in NCAA tournament basketball this past weekend. When asked what he thought about U.K. being the tournament favorite to win it all, Coach Calipari simply stated that the Cats haven't won it yet. He went on the say that a team of freshmen and sophomores can fall at any moment, in the most important games. He was not saying that the starting lineup of basically all NBA draft picks couldn't get the job done, but what he was doing was displaying the healthy ego that we have discussed in class. Calipari is not only a great coach, but he is also a family man and fervent community contributer. I am sure that if we win the championship, he will be a leader in my basketball obsessed hometown whether he likes it or not!!!

Smashing Assumptions

Ok, so at the end of our first intensive, I expressed concern about how receptive people back down in the "Bible Belt" would be about sustainability and environmental issues. We discussed a diagram that charted out the competence/incompetence and consciousness/unconsciousness of actions and minds. I took this diagram back home and tried to feel out where I stand in my decision-making and thought processes.

After meeting with various church officials and local environmentalists, I come to find that the incompetence was in my assumptions, not in the responses I received; almost everyone I have come in contact with has been not only very passionate about the project, but have taken some ownership of the process as well.

I almost feel like I owe some people apologies, even though they had no clue I was judging them before we met. It is experiences like this that help build leadership. I learned valuable lessons about not labeling people, and how to dig in and begin to understand folks.

Marbles

There was a man who had a jar of marbles. He read that the average American lives to be around 75 years old. This man loved the weekend; no work, taking it easy, waking up early and enjoying the silence. So, using his age, he calculated how many weekends he had left if he were to live until 75. After filling a jar with his remaining "weekends", he would remove a marble once a week to symbolize the time he had left, and the time he could never get back. This caused him to daily evaluate his priorities and cherish every day.

Life is short and we must not waste any time we have here. I am a notorious time waster, so I am considering taking up the "jar of marbles" challenge as a daily reminder. I am still young, so it may be a lot of marbles!!! Maybe I will just do decades for now..

I posted this on the other blog I am posting for in Brian's course, but it was supposed to be for this blog!!! So here it goes again, I apologize for the repeat!:

My core network right now is family: my grandmother provided some good resources after talking with her about servant-leadership, and my mother's busy schedule is a resource in itself. After working as a pharmacist by day, she then shares her time with a free health clinic at our church, as well as the clothing bank and programs to help Lexington's homeless.

The action project in Brian's course has put me in touch with some people who will also prove to be valuable in becoming an effective leader. Connecting with people is becoming the best way for me to learn so far. I try to reflect the good attributes of people I admire and respect. It doesn't always work, but it is a good practice for me.